Vivid Dreams
by theultimatenerdgurl
Summary: Gokudera is haunted by his worst nightmare in his dreams, but then it seeps over into reality. GokuderaxYamamoto
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1 - P.O.V. - Gokudera Hayato**

**A.N.: This is a completely different fanfic from my other one, Those Unspoken Words. This was actually the first KHR fic I ever wrote, and I really like how it turned out, despite the fact Gokudera kinda has a mental breakdown...**

-

I grit my teeth and hold back a scream of pain as I try once more to free my pinned legs. He's lying right out of my reach, bleeding, unmoving, dying, and I'm helpless.

"Dammit!" I yell, tears of pain and anger falling down my face. "It wasn't supposed to be this way…" I groan as I try to pull myself free, and slump against the cold concrete floor, exhausted. "Yamamoto," I whisper, reaching for him, "don't you fucking die on me, you baseball idiot! Yamamoto!" No response.

Frustrated, I glare at the stone pillar that has trapped my legs – there is no way I can get out from under it, unless… I look around and _there! _ – I spot two sticks of my trusty dynamite, just inside my reach. I snatch them up and risk another glance at Yamamoto – still nothing. I look at the dynamite in my hand and grimace – if I want to save him, I have no other options left. I doubt the Tenth would forgive me if I let his friend die right in front of me.

I light the fuses and take a deep breath before I chuck them at the stone pillar, and cover my head. I feel the explosion, but I hear nothing.

My eyes snap open and I sit up fast, still sweating profusely from my vivid nightmare. I've been having variations of the same dream for the past two weeks, but I've told no one. I don't even let the fact that I've hardly slept at all affect my daily lifestyle. It's because I don't want anyone to find out my worst fear – watching the Guardian of the Rain, Yamamoto Takeshi die right before my eyes.

I'm known as the school delinquent, and apparently I hate everyone, even though people considered to be my "friends" are the Tenth and my fellow Guardians. In truth, I really prefer to be alone, separate from the group. I don't like people in general, and I don't want to let my darkest secret slip.

He's easygoing, and friends with everyone. But I never thought that I, of all people, would fall hopelessly in love with him. I don't even know how, or when, it started… There's no way I'm going to confess to him, either – my reputation as a badass would be ruined. And besides, there is no guarantee he would feel the same way about me. When you look at the guy, there's no denying he's straight.

My breathing finally slows, and I fall back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I don't want to fall asleep again – I don't want any more nightmares.

But of course, the human body only lets itself be controlled to a certain limit before it breaks, and I've pretty much hit the max – my body doesn't respond like I want it to. And sure enough, against my wishes, my eyes drift shut, and as sleep takes me once more, I am sucked into another nightmare.

I'm chained to a wall, bereft of everything but my body itself. My wrists bleed heavily, the skin and muscle once covering the bones, torn to shreds. I lift my head and examine my surroundings. I'm in a small concrete room and in front of my lies an empty table with a few old bloodstains, and some wires. I let my head drop – the effort to hold it up is too taxing – and pray to whatever God there is that my captors don't hold anyone else I know.

I hang there, spread eagle and slowly bleeding out, for what seems to be hours. After a time though, the door opens, and three people enter – one chained and half-conscious, the other two hooded. I lift my head weakly at the noise, and rage floods my veins when I recognize Yamamoto, bruised and bloodied. I can do nothing but watch as he is strapped down to the table.

The taller of the two hooded figures approaches me as his buddy takes care of Yamamoto. "If you don't want your fellow Guardian to die, tell me where Sawada Tsunayoshi is and you will both live."

_'Oh that's a load of bullshit,'_ I think to myself as I struggle to keep my face neutral. On the inside, it's as if my heart is being ripped in two. I can't betray the Tenth – I'm his right hand! – but Yamamoto… with him, the feelings cut too close to home. I clench my hands into fists, ignoring the searing pain, and grit my teeth. I spit at him and growl my anger. "Like hell I'd tell you anything!"_ 'Yamamoto, forgive me…' _

He turns away. "Very well." He nods once to his buddy, who flips a switch and then quickly exits, probably to watch me suffer from a better view. The hooded man who talked to me follows him, and I watch him go, glaring daggers.

Muffled cries of pain bring my attention back to the table. I strain against my chains, despite how futile it is for me to break free. "Yamamoto!" I scream his name as he writhes on the table, fighting to get free, tears of pain and anguish blurring my vision. "YAMAMOTO!"

I sob into my pillow, hating myself for being so weak. I should be stronger – the Tenth shouldn't be dragged down by someone as pathetic as me. I don't know what triggered these nightmares, but I would give anything to get them to stop. I don't want the Tenth to worry about me – he worries enough as it is.

Eventually, I calm down again and force myself to stand. I feel like shit, and probably look it, too. I head for the shower, armed with clean clothes, and hope my nightmare don't follow me.

Three hours later, I find myself sitting alone in the pouring rain, hoping desperately my nightmares will fade away. But my brain keeps remembering them, and there is no place to hide from yourself. I hear splashes – someone's coming – but I don't look up until the rain suddenly stops hitting my head, and quickly look away when I see who it is.

Yamamoto Takeshi stands in front of me, holding his umbrella over my head and looking concerned. "Are you okay, 'Dera?"

I growl in annoyance. "Don't call me that, baseball idiot!" I still don't look at him, fuming silently. Part of me thinks this is another nightmare that seeped over into reality. "I'm fine."

He doesn't say anything for a minute – he just stares at me, before looking away quickly. Out of the corner of my eye, I see his cheeks flush.

Finally, I turn to face him. "What the hell do you want?!"

He holds out a hand. "Come back to my place and get dry – you'll catch a cold if you sit out here too long."

Even though deep inside, I really want to take his hand, I ignore it and reluctantly stand, and follow the idiot back to his place.

I follow him up to his room, where he gives me a change of his old clothes, before he runs downstairs again to help his father with customers. I change and sit on the edge of his bed, staring out the window. And of course, I pass out due to exhaustion, and enter another nightmare.

This time, I can't see anything – it's pitch black – but luckily, I'm not chained down, and can move freely.

"Hello?" I stand and look around, even though I can't see, and hear my own voice echo back at me. I don't mind being alone, I don't mind the dark – it's crowds I hate.

A click echoes and I feel something cold pressed against the back of my head, and I freeze. "You've been quite a troublesome little boy," my mysterious captor drawls, "and it's time you are punished. Face your left."

I have no choice but to obey, and as I turn, I see the left wall has turned into a screen. It's showing a live surveillance tape – Yamamoto and the Tenth are fighting to get in here, wherever that is. My captor laughs, and the pressure from the gun vanishes.

Horrified, I watch as the Tenth falls, and Yamamoto stands over him, protecting him. Hidden speakers crackle and audio fills the tiny space. A wordless scream of anger explodes from me when Yamamoto is cut down, and I slam my fist against the nearest wall.

Yamamoto looks up at the sky, his eyes already unfocused and glazed over. "Sorry, 'Dera," he whispers, and I hear it as clear as day. I watch, numb, as his eyes lose their light and he goes limp.

I fall to my knees and curl into a tight ball, fighting tears and screams, but to no avail. I am broken.

"Gokudera!" I flinch away from the voice, my face wet with tears, my throat raw from screaming. A hand rests on my shoulder and I involuntarily whimper and pull away. The hand is quickly removed and I hear my name again, softer this time. "Gokudera. It's just me." I recognize Yamamoto's voice and look up.

He's sitting on the edge of the bed next to me, genuine fear and concern in his face. I hate myself for being this weak, I hate the fact that he's seeing me like this…

I turn my face away, but he reaches out and rests a hand on my cheek, forcing me to face him. "Gokudera," he says quietly, "I'm worried sick about you. Please, tell me what's wrong."

I hang my head, letting my bangs cover my face, and say nothing. I can't tell him.

"How long have you been having nightmares?"

My head snaps up in surprise and his hand falls away. I look at him a moment longer before I lower my eyes. "Two weeks," I mumble.

"What are they about?"

I pull my knees to my chest and rest my head on them. "Losing someone," I whisper, tears leaking out of my eyes against my will.

He doesn't say anything for a moment. He moves one of his hands to rest atop mine in a comforting gesture. "Can you tell me who?"

I say nothing for several minutes, arguing with myself in my head. Finally I sigh, hide my face behind my legs, and whisper my answer. "You."


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: Still in Gokudera's P.O.V., with an epilogue included**  
-

He seems like he is about to say something when his father calls him. He leaves with a concerned look on his face.

"Che," I mutter, annoyed at myself. I change back into my now dry clothes and leave through the window (it's still raining). I still can't believe I told him what my nightmares were concerned with – it's none of his fucking business.

I light a cigarette as I walk towards my apartment, muttering to myself in Italian. I'm so distracted that I don't even sense the danger, and I don't know what hits me. The last thing I remember is hitting the cold, wet ground.

"So this is the Vongola Storm Guardian… You don't look like much."

I rub the lump on my head and wince. "What the hell did you hit me with? Who the fuck are you?"

"What you do not know does not concern you. I want to know the extent of your abilities."

"And if I refuse?" I fold my arms, stubborn as always.

"The Rain Guardian dies." The wall across from me flickers to life and I see Yamamoto tied up in his room, bruised and bleeding, a hooded figure holding Yamamoto's katana against his neck. "Will you comply?"

I feel like my heart is about to burst from fear – this is just like one of my nightmares, only worse. This is reality. "Che… fine," I snap, "but only if you let Yamamoto go."

"Then how will we force your compliance? No, the Rain Guardian stays where he is."

I clench my fists in anger. "Uri," I call in a low voice, and the damned adorable creature complies. "Cambio form." I don't want this freak to know all my secrets, but I also don't want Yamamoto to die.

"Gokudera, run!" Yamamoto's voice startles me, and I realize that just like I can see him, he can see me.

"No! I'm not going to let you die, baseball idiot!" I turn away so I don't see his face. _Not this time… _"Well, what are you waiting for? I need something to fight if you want to see what I can do."

Uri growls and I sense something dangerous in the room, just behind me. I activate the Sistema C.A.I. and back away, wary, and wait for whatever I'm facing to make the first move. Bad idea.

The last thing I hear is my captor's sneering voice, "Pathetic," and searing pain flares along my back before I pass out.

I don't know how long I'm unconscious, and I'm not really sure what's going on when I wake up. I'm still in the same room, but I can't move – my legs aren't responding. I see someone standing over me protectively with a sword – Yamamoto?

I watch as he calmly fights whatever knocked me out with one hit, and wonder where he came from. I try to stay awake, but the pain intensifies, and unconsciousness is welcoming.

I return to consciousness again, but refuse to open my eyes – I don't want to see what I fear. I hear an unfamiliar voice, which puzzles me.

"It's amazing that he's still alive, given his condition, but it will take a miracle for him to walk again. Let me know when he wakes up."

A door opens and closes and I hear a quiet voice, "Thanks, Doctor," and footsteps approach my bed. I try to keep my breathing consistent, feigning sleep. i …a miracle for him to walk again. /i Someone takes my hand, and it takes extreme effort on my part not to punch whoever it is – I'm supposed to be asleep after all. "'Dera… I'm sorry…" Yamamoto sounds utterly defeated, and like he hasn't slept in a long while.

"I thought I told you not to call me that, baseball idiot," I murmur, my voice hoarse, as I open my eyes.

He blushes slightly but doesn't let go of my hand, and flashes his idiotic smile. "You're finally awake!"

"Yeah…" I cough and stifle a groan of pain, noting how his smile's brilliance fades slightly at that. "How long - ?"

He looks down, smile vanishing completely, his features worn and etched with sorrow. "It's been almost two months since I rescued you."

_Two months_… "I don't remember much… What exactly happened?"

He opens his mouth to respond when the door opens, and he quickly lets go of my hand. "Hey Tsuna," he says calmly. "He just woke up."

The Tenth walks in with a tired smile. "Gokudera-kun! Everyone was so worried – even Hibari-san came by to see you!"

"Sorry I worried you, Tenth," I say weakly.

He just smiles worriedly and looks at Yamamoto. "Have you - ?"

"Not yet." Yamamoto runs a hand through his hair. "But I will."

The Tenth nods. "I'll go tell the others you're awake." When he leaves, Yamamoto takes my hand again.

"They tricked you – I wasn't captive like you thought, I was actually looking for you. I found you just as you were knocked out by that i thing /i." He shudders. "Tsuna was with me and helped me carry you here. The doctors didn't think you would survive."

"They don't think I'll walk again either, do they?" I ask. "I overheard when I first woke up."

He sighs. "No."

I study him closely, and see how gaunt his face is. "How long have you been here?"

He meets my eyes, looking sheepish. "I never left. I've been here the whole time."

My eyes widen in shock. "You idiot, what about school?"

"Tsuna's been bringing me homework, and Hibari's tried to drag me back a few times. But… I didn't want you to be alone when you woke up." His face turns pink again.

"You idiot," I say again, with a small smile on his face. I grab his tie with my free hand and pull his mouth down to mine.

**Epilogue (years later)**

For the first time since my injury, I'm standing by myself, on my own two feet (with the help of a cane). Even though the doctors seriously doubted it, I'm able to walk again. Today's a special day, and I'm glad I can walk to it.

He wraps and arm around my waist and kisses my cheek. "How's it feel?"

"Strange," I reply, leaning against him slightly.

Yamamoto smiles at me. "At least Tsuna's got his right hand back."

Today is the Tenth's wedding day. Since I've been in rehab and physical therapy (I have so much dynamite reserved for those assholes…), I don't really know the details, but I do know that I'll finally be able to support him like I should, on my own two feet, with Yamamoto by my side.

I still vividly remember the look of shock on his face when he walked in on me and Yamamoto after I woke up from my two-month coma. By now, he's accepted the fact that Yamamoto and I are together, but I still enjoy looking back on that moment and laughing.

I walk down the hospital stairs, Yamamoto right beside me in case I should stumble. I'm still not used to my legs yet, after being paraplegic for so long.

It takes longer than it normally would, but we finally arrive at a small church. When we enter, everyone turns to face us with smiles. I see the Tenth standing with Dino and Enma, completely relaxed, which is i very /i unlike him, especially on his wedding day. Music from the grand piano fills the small church, and everything clicks into place. I stare at Yamamoto accusingly. "This isn't the Tenth's wedding, is it."

He smiles that same idiotic smile that's never changed. "Nope. It's ours."


End file.
